The Light of 1000 Stars
by Hollyleaf The Black Cat
Summary: "When I said that they are worse ways to go...I think the worst way to go...is to go alone." — Sitting on the roof of the new Avengers facility under the bright night sky, Steve and Natasha bond over a discussion of life, death, and the fear of being alone.


**Author's Note:** I have 11 works in progress already and instead of working on any of them this oneshot idea can to me. I love Romanogers though and hopefully for those of you who read my other Romanogers fic, _Love in the 21st century,_ this will give you something to enjoy while I work on the next chapter of that. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy! (This is also posted on my A03)

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It was a warm, summer night and Natasha Romanoff was sitting on the roof of the the new Avengers facility, silently enjoying some time to herself. Lately, there had been a lot of stuff running through her mind which wasn't all that surprising what with saving the world, co-leading the Avengers, training new recruits, and still trying to take care of herself. But now Natasha was craving some down time, away from all those responsibilities. She liked being outdoors and recently she'd found her own little sanctuary on the roof. A place she had all to herself.

"It's a nice night out." Well maybe not _all_ to herself.

Natasha turned around and saw Steve standing in the doorway. She could tell he'd just showered by his wet hair and the fact that he'd changed into a tight, white tank and navy sweatpants. She couldn't help but think back to when they were hiding out at Sam's; he'd wore almost the exact same thing then. After all that had happened as of late though that felt like a such long time ago.

"Stars are really shining tonight," he began, staring up at the sky, as he came to stand beside her.

Natasha nodded. "They are," she said, taking a glance up at it too. The stars were so bright and clear, a perk of being out in the rural part of upstate New York. It'd been a while since she'd seen the stars like that and not lights that tried to pretend to be them.

Steve sighed as he took a seat beside her. "Sometimes during the war, when I couldn't sleep, on nights like this, I'd sit up and draw them."

"What are you doing up here?" asked Natasha, bluntly. She knew Steve hadn't came up here just for some idle chit-chat at a little past midnight.

He shrugged. "Just wanted to check on you. You left dinner pretty quick and you've been pretty quiet all day. Is something wro-?"

"I'm fine," she insisted before he could even get the word out.

It was silent for a moment. Nothing but the sound of a few chirping crickets and the light breeze ruffling the trees. Finally, Steve turned to her and spoke. "Natasha, you can tell me anything. I thought we established that."

Natasha sighed. She knew that she could always talk to Steve. He was honest with her; he was one of the few people she completely trusted. But Natasha had went through most of her life guarded and even now it was still hard for her to open up. But if anyone would probably understand what she was thinking about, it would be Steve.

"I think about Sokovia a lot," she whispered as she looked out at the forest. "I think about that view. It was _so_ beautiful. It was almost peaceful." She sighed as she stared down at her knees. "It took me a minute to realize I'd seen a view like that before. It was in Siberia...and I was dying."

Natasha could still remember everything about that day. Goosebumps formed on her arms as if she could still feel the cold against her skin.

She sighed. "When I said that they are worse ways to go...I think the worst way to go...is to go alone."

 _"Come on. Come on. Move. Move."_

 _Natasha clenched her teeth in pain as she tried to push herself off the snow-covered ground. The cold immediately numbed her fingers but it stung the cuts on her palms. Suddenly, her side felt hot and she knew her wound had opened back up and blood started flowing out of it. She sat up on her knees and examined it. The bullet hadn't come out and, though she knew it probably wasn't the best choice to be moving around, she had no choice. She wasn't going to die out in the Siberian wilderness.  
_

 _Rather she **hoped** she wasn't going to die out in the Siberian wilderness but when she tried to stand she cried out in pain and lowered herself back to the ground. She looked around, hoping she could spot any sort of camp or cabin out in the distance but there was nothing. _

_She tried again to stand but stumbled and fell into the snow. She closed her eyes for a moment to hold back tears. It hurt so bad and there wasn't anything she could do about it. She rolled over on her back and then stared up at the sky. The sun was starting to get low in the sky and it gave a certain, mystical glow to the tops of the trees it was falling behind._

 _It was so beautiful that Natasha almost wanted to laugh. The most beautiful view she'd ever seen and no one else would ever see it. It'd die with her, all alone._

 _The thought itself almost killed her._

"I agree," he began and it pulled her out of her thoughts.

She turned to look at him and noticed the sad look in his eyes as he continued. "After I lost communication with Peggy, when I hit that ice and fell into the water, I knew I was going to die. As I was sinking, freezing, I saw some of the most amazing things. The bottom of a glacier, the way the sun hits the top of the ice and shines down on you. It's...magical. And all I could think was that I wished Peggy could see it with me."

He turned to her and they gazed at each other for a moment. Natasha could see a sad, broken look in his eyes. The same look that she knew she'd had in her eyes before. She hadn't really realized it before but even though they had completely opposite pasts they actually had some similar experiences and, well, it was always nice to have someone to talk to about things like this.

"Hey, Steve," she began, "let's make a promise to each other."

"What?"

"No matter what, we'll try our hardest to make sure that the other doesn't die alone." She smiled, softly. "Ok?"

He smiled back at her and nodded, giving her that look he always gave her. That one of full of trust and respect and, well, love. "Ok."

They kept smiling at each other until suddenly, Sam landed down on the roof shouting "Freeze!"

They both jumped up as Sam just blinked in surprise. "Oh, uh, hey Cap. And Natasha. Sorry I didn't know it was you two. I was making the rounds and saw two figures on the roof and just wanted to make sure it wasn't someone trying to get in. Tony still hasn't fixed my goggles though after, uh, after-"

"After you got your ass kicked by the guy the size of an ant," smirked Natasha.

Steve started laughing as Sam frowned. "Very funny. Anyway, since this is all good, I'll just get back to the sky. Have a good night, you two."

"Night, Sam," they shouted together as he took off again.

After he disappeared, Natasha turned back to Steve. "Well, I guess we should go and get some sleep. I've got to assess Wanda's progress in controlling her magic tomorrow and that's always...exciting."

"That it is," agreed Steve, "You're right we should hit the hay."

They started toward the door. "'Hit the hay'? You talk like an old man. You stay up later than most though," she teased.

"Ha-ha," he began, opening the door for her. They paused in the doorway and he smiled down at her. "Good night, Natasha."

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. "Good night, Steve."

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Reviews and constructive criticism are much appreciated! ;D


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